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Prepared to Die

by Rat Jesu

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1.
Rat Judah 02:09
Down Below Us creatures sing Of our loath For Everything We forgot We forgave But what you've brought Is only hate Betrayer Soul Killing us all The demons call Awaiting your fall Betrayer Soul Killing us all The demons call Awaiting your fall We'll bring you down We'll burn it down Down Down
2.
Girls 02:52
When I hear you sing, Oh I can't help but feel Lost in that smile Every night I hear your voice cut through my dreams You to me are everything But something that I shouldn't feel Is bubbling to the surface Why can't I leave it at friends? Why do I wanna tie loose ends? I'll just bury it in songs I'll probably carry this 'till I'm dead and gone I spent the day thinking of you And all the pretty things you do So it was really dumb to ask for this Cause It was over when we kissed I was joking, I was hoping It meant nothing But When I look at you Oh, I don't know what's real Why can't we just be girlfriends? Oh how I want to tie loose ends But I don't wanna lose a friend So I'll try to make amends And hold this feeling to the end I know we can we sing along I'll let the frayed out rope go on I'll just bury it in songs I know I'll carry this 'till I'm Dead and gone
3.
247 365 I don't really wanna be alive But i don't wanna die in the nighttime But i don't wanna throw out a life line I dont wanna call you You dont wanna hear it I Don't wanna weight your mind down with this bullshit I don't wanna call them They just say the same shit I don't wanna weigh down the line with my bullshit I don't want to speak a word All of this shit I've been going through has been absurd Tires wont work Spinning in dirt Skipping my life like a broken record Hennessey Hurts Heaven and dirt Burning up cash like we're in a desert Only gets worse Heaven inverts Picking up Pieces of my Broken Words Calling up 8255 I don't really wanna be alive Think I might wanna die in the nighttime And I don't wanna throw out a life line I not gonna call you You dont wanna hear it I don't want you carrying the blame for this bullshit I'm not gonna call them I don't wanna hear it I just wanna kill me and be done with this bullshit
4.
intermission 00:26
5.
Look like thom yorke at a party I'd rather look like barbie But my Eyeliner looks like sharpie So I just stare into the concrete Don't think I wanna be perceived I scratch my arm until till it bleeds I try to lean into the beat But honestly I'd rather leave But I'm not free No remedy The problem's me Looking at her destroys me I just see what I should be But my body's tied to a carseat So I just stare into the concrete When Envy and love intersect It's hard to tell your right from left So cover that hole in your chest And keep it till you welcome death Let the concrete take my breath
6.
Shambling from the promenade Eager for your bed's embrace At the peak of the car garage You feel wind caress your face Overlooking the precipice Haunted stillness hems the edge A queer comfort now possessed You feel beckoned by the ledge dopamine compromised can't go on in this life I'm so terrified That I'm not scared to die Surrounded by the silence Not a soul in sight I don't have the will left Can't keep up the fight I'd wish you so much better But I don't have the right I'm lighter than a feather I go into the light But wait Wait Too late Gone
7.
Scent of fear fills the air Sun and moon dissipate Ceasing shape empty skies All the blood soaked rags Can you tell all my pastels are drained from my shell Cut me in half I pray let me reset and change paths Though I'll writhe and scream You can cauterize the barcodes torn into my thighs When I bleed swarms of leeches point me toward a starless sky Starts flawed cause i was built all wrong Fallen angel amputates strings breaks the fog Drown my fawn response Are you shocked that i stopped concocting ways to use me You can die you can bleed All the seers will watch you tear yourself apart You cant see blindness holds your tainted heart You're not free, falling further from the start The abyss will make you fucking hurt Burnt to ash, Abyss Stares back Eviscerated in a flash Devoid of light Know The blind's strife Imprisoned in an endless night Writhe and scream Endlessly Bleed And pray that it is all a dream Lie Abandoned in this hell And pray your soul can be redeemed But you Fall Farther down Claim no crown Burn and drown But you fall Loath and Grieve Death deceives No reprieve Burnt to ash, Abyss Stares back Eviscerated in a flash Devoid of light Know The blind's strife Imprisoned in an endless night Writhe and scream Endlessly Bleed And pray that it is all a dream Lie Abandoned in this hell And pray your soul can be redeemed
8.
Let's Blow This Scene, get Gasoline And get the fuck out of this town Lets drive too fast, We'll waste some gas, Make sure to keep the windows down Got busted AC, going 80 Let the wind drown out the sound We'll drive away, and leave pain Yeah they won't see us around The longer that I stay here, I just get more terrified I could stomach all of the fear, I just need to go for a drive But I won't stop for borders Yeah, This road's a one-way trip I'll maybe miss it, sort of But I need to be done with this shit Let's Blow This Scene, get Gasoline And get the fuck out of this town Lets drive too fast, We'll waste some gas, Make sure to keep the windows down Got busted AC, going 80 Let the wind drown out the sound We'll drive away, and leave pain Yeah they won't see us around Oil and Gasoline Let's just blow this scene I don't wanna be a queen I just wanna drive my car Regrets left and right Guess it's fight or flight I don't wanna die tonight I just wanna drive my car

about

CARE-013

This one isn't about being trans

Rat Jesu: linktr.ee/ratjesu


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credits

released January 6, 2023

Rat Jesu - Vocals, Guitar, Produciton, Mixing (All tracks)
Ruby Jules - Mastering (All Tracks)
Blind Equation - Produciton (The Doom Fulfilled)
PK Shellboy - Vocals (Concrete)
Murrumur - Vocals (Priestess of the Godless Valley)
Cacola - Produciton (Priestess of the Godless Valley)

PK Shellboy: twitter.com/pkshellboy
Cacola: twitter.com/noize_princess
Murrumur: twitter.com/MURRUMURCURRENT
Blind Equation: twitter.com/BlindEquation
Ruby Jules: rubyjules.neocities.org

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Subsidary of Dismiss Yourself

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